Coparenting or Parallel Parenting?

dad on beach with girlWhat is Parallel Parenting? Why should parents involved in conflict with each over custody practice a different type of parenting than co-parenting?

Parents who are in conflict usually are not able to cooperatively work together. In this slideshow, parents can learn more about parallel parenting and discover how much easier parallel parenting is than attempting to get the other parent to work with you. Parents need to learn to calm down when they are involved in conflictual custody disputes.

When parents are fighting over the children, they remain upset and are usually unable to pay emotional attention to their children because they are focused on responding to the other parent rather than being able to be emotionally available to their children.  Every time parents hear the other parent’s voice or see their face, they experience anxiety and it takes approximately 3 days to calm down from each of these interactions. When parents have an ongoing dispute with each other they are unable to calm down. Insisting they learn to work together is a giant mistake. It is better to learn how to parallel parent or dual parent. What this means is that both parents create their own rules and discipline for their own home. They do not check with the other parent for approval. Parallel parenting is more effective for parents because it allows them to disengage from the fight and focus their time and thoughts on building better bonds with their children and they are better parent.

mom smilig with girl hug

Dr. Deena Stacer is a parent educator for parents involved in high litigated custody disputes. She offers parents strategies and skills to end the conflict and to understand how the court system really works. Dr. Stacer teaches classes in San Diego in person and has online courses located at  She can be reached at or 800-980-0434.

©Deena L. Stacer, Ph.D.     All Rights Reserved.  1/5/14